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Writer's pictureJeremy Smith

Coping strategy #441: Every experience is a teacher

Updated: 5 days ago

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. — K. Gibran

One of my most treasured possessions is a copy of The Prophet by Khallil Gibran, gifted to me by my mother many years ago. I've found that the wisdom contained in these pages carries different meanings for me at different stages of my life — even if the words don't change, I do, and every time I pick it up, I gain new insights.


The quote above has been on my mind lately as I prepare for my clinical practicum. I've been getting more and more anxious as my practicum start date has inched ever closer. It's not so much that I'm apprehensive about transitioning from one career, where I'm successful, effective, and respected, to one where I'm a nervous novice — although that's certainly part of it! — it's primarily the legal and corporate hurdles of the onboarding process, and having to coordinate among the practicum site, its associated healthcare system, and my university, that's been so stressful. Like anyone, I see the deadlines looming and want everything done yesterday. It's true what they say about catching bees with honey rather than vinegar, but at the same time we have to advocate for ourselves; it'd be so easy to let my frustrations leak into the email chain, assertiveness turning to frustration. Instead, I've taken Gibran's observation to heart and used the experience as an opportunity to double down on my "people skills" and "problem-solving skills," identifying and clarifying next steps and formulating plans, but also taking the time to thank the people I've been working with and acknowledging their efforts. I think they've been just as frustrated as I am at times, so why not reinforce the fact that we're a team facing a shared problem, and not adversaries?


Maybe the more applicable quote is from the Theraveda Buddist Jack Kornfield:

Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion.

We can't, of course, take this advice literally. It would be amazing if the world were populated by bodhisattvas, offering lessons to the rest of us, helping to bring us a little closer to enlightenment — but that's not the world we live in. Instead, I prefer to think of experiences, not people, as teachers: each challenge, each barrier, is a potential lesson in enduring, an opportunity for us to grow and exercise our compassion — compassion for ourselves as well as others — and to become receptive and still.

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